Trading Spouses: FMA Twilight Style
by NarosofTwilight
Summary: Sequel to short fic "Winry vs Bella". The women trade spouses to see who's is better. How will the Cullens react to "animeboy"? How will the Elrics react to the "perfect" sparklepire? How will the two men survive since they didn't even agree to the deal!
1. Introduction

Introduction

Hello my fellow readers, this is, I think, the sequel to the crossover, Winry vs Bella, if you hadn't read it, please do. If you don't wanna read it, here's a quick and not too good summary;  
Bella angrily confronts Winry over fanfics she read off the internet about her and husband, Edward Cullen. Winry tries to avoid her unknowing beef with Bella because she is waiting for HER husband, Edward Elric, to come pick her up for their date. Bella insults Ed, Winry snaps and they fight. Ed has a car accident caused by Edward's sparklin' body. Bella and Winry continues their fight. Winry calls Bella's husband a pansy of a husband and Bella gets furious...then maced in the eyes. Ed and Edward come to the aid of their wives and learn how the fight occurred. Bella and Winry momentarily call it truce by trading their husbands to see who really is the best.

To those who had already read Winry vs Bella, a little clarification, if I may. It has come to my attention that most of you (my friends included) are wondering why this story is marked Complete when I wrote at the end of the story "A little help...yes I'm serious". That wasn't an ending disclaimer. I was still speaking in the story. I would have put that seperation line thingy-thing. I was also being sarcastic because I had no" power" over the characters and their decisions at the time (as you all could see when I was asking questions). But I also wanted m'fellow readers to join in on this crazy ride I'm writing as of now and I would like to have a few ideas so that I won't go off and write a whole other fic without finishing this one. (I think I tend to do something like that...) I think it'll be fun to do.

Now, I'm going to be completely honest, I don't like Twilight and I most definitely do NOT like Edward and Bella simply because of the way they are (Bella is weak but oh so perfect and Edward is the perfect guy who never had a girl a day in his 100 years alive as a vampire) yet, I don't wanna make them look or sound stupid and keep writing things like Winry bullies Edward or Bella (if ever again) gets her ass kicked by Winry, that'll be waaaaaay too boring and waaaaaaaaaaaay too repetitive. What I wanna do, or try to do, is have the Elrics and Cullens learn from their experiences in a different house, with a different family, and a different spouse. It may sound corny, but I'm pretty hopeful that it'll be a good one. Excuse me for my rambling and if I confused you even more or didn't make sense, I'm very sorry, and I'll be happy to answer questions or requests on the reviews if you do.

I hope you'll like this fic as you liked the prequel. ^.^


	2. First Impressions

_**Finally! After soooooo long I finished chapter one!  
Soooo sorry for the wait, with the finally quarter of school beginning and looking for job, I had no time on my hands and when I did...I suffered writer's block.  
Apologies if this isn't as funny as I wanted it to be. I know there are mistakes in here somewhere, so feel free to point them out and I will gladly change them.**_

_**As of right now, I hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

I.  
First Impressions

"You're going to love my family, Ed." Bella said, happily tugging at him as he walk. Ed said nothing as he continued to think of why Winry made a trade with Bella.  
He could understand that Bella wanted to prove that her husband was better than him, which wouldn't have been a contest anyway. They could have settled that matter earlier with another fight. Ed knew he would have won. But this...**_this _**was not what he had in mind! Not only was he going to be Bella's temporary husband, he was going to have to live with her for a month! A month! "I oughta kill whoever allowed this to happen," he murmured under his breath.  
"Come again?" Bella asked.  
"I said is everyone in your family vampires?" he lied.  
"Well," Bella began. "My family isn't, but Edward's family is. They're real nice too."

"They don't eat people do they?" Ed asked.  
"Oh don't be silly, Ed." laughed Bella. "You have absolutely nothing to fear."  
"I don't?" Ed asked.  
"Sure you don't," she reassured him. "After all, we're vegetarians."  
"Vegetarians?" Ed snapped as he snatched his hand from her grip. "How am I suppose to believe that, huh? What if when they see me, they suddenly wanna change their diet?" He walked passed Bella and tried to figure out how to get back home. Yet, that failed miserably. Bella pulled him back, turned him around and made him continue walking to her home. "Why me...?" he asked himself. "Why was I traded over? Does Winry hate me or something? Why am I gonna hafta live with 'vegans'? And why the HELL are we still walking? Don't you have super speed? Or at least a car?" Bella continued pushing Ed and thought of an answer. "I had a car, but I donot need it anymore. Besides, I thought you had a car."  
"Yeah," Ed replied. "I **HAD** a car until your disco-ball of a husband wrecked it."  
"It's not his fault you lost control of your vehicle."  
"Just like it isn't his fault that sun makes him sparkle?"  
"Hey, those sparkles show off his qualities pretty well."  
"Oh, pardon me for not knowing." Ed responded. "I read books about vampires, little girl, and I, for one, did not see the word 'sparkle' as a physical characteristic in either of them." Bella pouted and could only shake her head, blink a few times, and bite her bottom lip. "Are we really going to argue about what a vampire's physical characteristic is?" she asked. "Can we talk about something else?"  
"Sure," Ed insisted. "We've only been walking in the same direction for, I dunno, a whole two hours, so we might as well talk about something new. Be my guest, what do you wanna talk about?"

"You." she said.  
"What do you wanna talk about me for?" Ed wanted to know.  
"Well, for the next 30 days, you are my husband." Bella began, "And as husband and wife, we have to get to know each other. So why not talk about you first?"  
"Are we playing 20 questions?" Ed arched an eyebrow. "If so, I'm only giving you brief answers."  
"Fair enough," Bella said.  
For the next hour or so Bella asked questions and Ed gave her the very brief answers. She was amused, but Ed was annoyed. He didn't feel like answering questions and he DEFINITELY did not have the patience to hear Bella thinking of a question to ask him every other second. (Clarification: She is doing this, "Let's see...uuuuuuuuuuummmmmm...") Aside from that, he didn't mind the walk. Only the person he was walking with. If only he had his car...or force Bella to get them to her house quickly. "Last question," she finally said. "hmmm..." Ed rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he "patiently" waited for the girl to think. "Aha! I got one!" she announced, "If you had the chance to go back in time and do something different, what would it be?"  
"That I never ran into your sparkling husband." He nonchalantly answered.  
"Oh come on!" Bella yelled. "Be serious!"  
"I am being serious." Ed replied.  
"No you aren't," she said. "Be honest."  
"Do you really want me to honest?" Ed asked.  
"Yes." Bella said.  
"Do you really, really, REALLY, want me to be brutally honest?"  
"Yes! That's the whole point of this thing! If you had the chance to go back in time and do something different, what would it be?"  
"You asked for it..." Ed said. "I would go back into time, grab a knife, and if I could, kill the author who decided to make this crossover in the first place! If she wasn't around, this would never had happened! I don't even wanna be here. Who the hell makes up a story about sparkling vampires? Or suicidal lovers? Or even a famous anime crossing paths with probably the most hated series in the entire world? And another thing-"

Ed was too busy having a fit that he didn't even notice that they arrived to Bella's home. A lovely mansion located in the forest. As Ed continued having his fit, Bella reached and unlocked the door and allowed Ed into the house with his rude comments still flowing from his mouth like a river stream. "On top of that," Ed continued as he walked in. "If this author wasn't so nice, I would personally love to see that everyone in the Twilight series, ESPECIALLY the Cullen family, was annihilated and nothing was left of them!" The sound of glass breaking had shut Ed up and made him realize he had said the wrong thing at the wrong time. He saw a young woman with short brown hair and pale skin stand before him. Her eyes were wide open and her jaw had dropped. Ed's eyes narrowed down to the floor and saw that there was a vash of some sort that was broken. Apparently it was new since bubble wraps were seen scattered and a box was opened. Aside from the young woman being completely dumbfounded, Ed saw that there were others around who had heard what she did.  
And they did not look happy at all.

"...oops..." was all Ed could say.

* * *

Meanwhile, Edward wasn't having a ball at all. He had a cold metal object on his back and was being pushed by Winry. "Where are we going?" he wanted to know. Winry ignored his question and jammed her wrench into his back. "Keep walking." she ordered. "You'll see when we get there. Turn left." As the two walked to Winry's house, Edward felt like he was on the verge of crying. They've only walked a half an hour from where the trade to began and he was becoming extremely depressed. "What's wrong with you?" Winry wanted to know. Edward shook his head. "Nothing," he solemnly said quietly. Winry turned jabbed the wrench in his back again and got in front of her. "You're not coming into my home depressed." she declared. "Your depression is like a death sentence. I will not have my children be around such a miserable character. It's unfair to me, and unfair to them. So, you better put a smile on your face."  
Edward struggled to smile but he was having a hard time. He missed his beloved Bella and wanted to whine.  
Winry on the other hand was feeling extremely regretful of making such a foolish deal and was bossing Edward around to make her feel a little bit better. But it didn't do any good. Edward was 100x different than her loving Ed. It was frustrating and sad, but she hid it well with her bossiness.

"Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnrrrrrry!" shouted a voice from above. She reconized it and turned towards a shop that was closed. From the window a young man sat (more like knelt) waving. "Hey, Winry." he said. "Couldn't you hear me earlier?"  
"Ling, what're you doing up there?" Winry asked. "I thought you were watching the kids for Ed and me."  
"I was," Ling replied "but I forgot something at home, so Lan volunteered to watch them for me for a bit."  
"But that's not your house." Winry pointed out. "That isn't even your store. How'd you get in there?"  
"...y'know...I dunno." Ling only laughed at the situation he was in and smiled as he scratched the back of his head. It was rather strange that he didn't even notice that Ed wasn't the Ed Winry was talking about. "Ling, get out of that window! You'll get in trouble by the cops again if they realize you broke into someone else's home!"

"I didn't break in." Ling protested, innocently waving his hands. "It was empty and simply already opened. Plus even if I did break in, I cannot be arrested."  
"Oh?" Winry smirked. "And why is that?"  
"I am Ling Yao," he happily began. "The most important character of all. I bring joy to those who are down. I bring laughter to those who are depressed and poor. Not to mention I ensure the safety of everyone and those around meeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah!" CRASH! Ling got up and dusted himself off, nervously laughing. "Lost my footing there." he said. "Now where was I?"  
"I ensure the safety of those around me..." Edward finally spoke, considering the fact that for the last six-seven minutes he had no existense in the world of Winry and Ling. "Thank you, fellow sparkly man!" Ling saluted.  
Ling paused momentarily and "somewhat" examined Edward. "Hey..." he said. "You're not Ed."  
"Of course I'm not." Edward said. "I am Edward Cullen. I was-"  
"Supposed to keep your mouth shut!" Winry slammed the wrench against Edward's back.  
"Ow!" Edward shouted. "You didn't say that when we were walking!" Winry tapped her foot and crossed her arms. "Okay, new rule." she said. "Until we get to the house, you say nothing!"  
"I am not a slave woman!" Edward shouted. "I am a grown man."  
"More like a grown suicidal pansy if you ask me!" Winry scoffed. "Don't make me hit you again!"

"Winry," said Ling. "You should be ashamed." Winry arched an eyebrow. _Ashamed of what?_ she thought. _I only poked him with it. A poke doesn't hurt that much does it?  
_"To cheat on your husband and have me bare witness to such an unfaithful act."  
"Cheat?" Winry screamed in disbelief.  
"Bare witness...?" Edward reiterated.  
Ling shook his head and waved a finger. "For shame." he said. "Oh, for shame."  
"Y-you have it all wrong, Ling!" Winry cried. "I'm not cheating on Ed. I would never betray my husband! My only dumb mistake was trading him over for _this_ guy!"  
"Human trafficking I see!" Ling pointed. "For shame, Winry, for shame."  
"You don't even know what human trafficking is!" Winry pointed out. "Do I have to repeat myself? I made a stupid trade with a stupid woman!"

"Now hold on a second," Edward interrupted and made himself known. "I'll allow you to torture me, I'll allow you to push me around, but I will NOT have you insult my wife like that!"  
"I could have sworn I told you to not say another word until we get to the house." Winry said. "As a matter fact, I remember saying it two minutes ago."  
"You can't insult my wife like that!" Edward said. "She is my soulmate. And I love her."  
Ling laughed. "Where'd you pick this guy up from?" he pointed. Winry shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you..." she murmured.  
"I'm from the Twilight series." Edward proudly said.  
"The what?" Ling asked.  
"The Twilight series. It is one of the most successful books every to be written in history."  
There was a heavy silence amongst the three adults...two adults and one who is a forever 21. (The hell if I know...)

"Never heard of it." said Ling, putting an end to the awkward silence. Ling followed Winry to her house and saw Lan with the children, Edna and Winslow.  
"Mommy!" cried the children as they ran into their mother's arms.  
"Hi, my little angels." said Winry, hugging them. "Who missed Mommy the most?"  
"I did! I did!" Edna hopped up and down.  
"No me! Me!" Winslow tugged at Winry's jacket. Winry smiled big. "That's good to know." she smiled. "Thanks for watching them for me when Ling was away, Lan."  
"It was my pleasure." Lan said.

Of the three who were oblivious to Edward's presence, it was Winslow who to notice of him first. The fellow sparkling vampire could sense that the boy didn't like him. There was no need to use telepathy. All he had to do was look at Winslow's face and he knew he wasn't liked. "You're not Daddy." Winslow finally spoke. Winry looked at Edward and gave a nod.  
Permission to speak was granted. But Edward didn't know what to say.  
Winry rolled her eyes took hold of her children's hands and walked them over to Edward. "This is Edward Cullen." she began. "He's going to be staying with us for few weeks and I want you two to be nice to him, okay?"  
"Where's Daddy?" Edna asked. "That guy's funny-lookin'."  
"Indeed he is rather funny-looking..." Lan agreed examining Edward from the side.  
Winry gave a small chuckle and looked at Edna. "Don't worry about Daddy, sweetie," she said. "He's perfectly fine. I would like for you and Winslow to be nice to our guest while he is having his stay. Will you do that for me?"

Edna nodded. Winslow, on the other hand, glared at Edward.  
Edward quietly nodded and somewhat smiled at the boy. As a welcome from Winslow, Edward got kicked in the shin. "Ouch!" he shouted.  
"Winslow!" Winry replied, pulling him to the side. "That is not nice. Behave." Winslow continued to glare at Edward as he slowly recovered and glared back at him. "Edward," Winry said. "Go into the house and settle in, I'll meet you in there. The door's unlock and when you get in, _don't touch anything_."  
He gave a nod and limped into the house, Winslow's eyes following him.  
Once Edward was in the house, Winry laughed and high-fived her son. "Nice one," she remarked.

Little did Edward Cullen know that a little kick in the shin was only the beginning of his 30 day stay.

* * *

**_This is just for fun. It's real easy too.  
Question: Why do you think I named the children Edna and Winslow?_**


	3. Not A Chapter

This is not a chapter!  
I repeat this is not a chapter. This is an apology for not updating this fanfic. I know you all are dying like my other readers  
If you see on my list of stories, Birth by Sleep is getting updated and I know I have kept all of you waiting.

Here are the good news: I'm graduating from high school soon and I will have more than enough time to start this up again!  
Because I'm allergic to Twilight a dear friend of mine is giving me information on the characters and helping me so that I can get them all set in place to start Chapter 2.

*bowing* I'm sooooo sorry for not updating this.  
I'm so neglectful of you all. I will try my best to keep up on this during this week and next (after the art show of course).  
Thank you for your patience and I'm sorry yet again.

And to all who were wondering about the children's names; Yes. It was a rhetorical question. I'll be putting those at the end of each chapter because it's fun and I would like people to participate.

Toodles!


End file.
